officialunitedstates:

I like ordering the most expensive thing on the menu but refusing to eat it.  It’s okay, though, because it’s a metaphor.  The metaphor is I’m incredibly wasteful and extremely wealthy.

(via svvaggo-t)

awellkept-secret:

this guy in my class said his brother lost his wallet in Canada and someone shipped it back with souvenirs

image

(via svvaggo-t)

maliciousmelons:

when someone types “leggo!” instead of “lets go”

image

(via heyfunniest)